The job prospects seem slim to none in a position that would pay something reasonable. Lots of jobs that I seemingly can not do physically. Heavy lifting, or on your feet all shift or some such physical traits that I dont have now.
I have come to the conclusion that most of my problems or issues are all stemmed from one thing. My weight.
- My feet hurt and I have major plantar factitious = excess weight on the ankles and feet are a strain and burden.
- I can not fit into any of my clothes = too much weight
- I can hardly find any new clothes that fit at all = too much weight
- I can not get on my knees. I cant bend them well and its major pain if I try, and then I can not get up = too much weight around my knees and legs
- My back and sciatica are in pain all the time now = too much weight
- I can not apply for so many jobs that need a little physical strength or standing on my feet = too much weight
- My health and blood pressure are BAD = too much weight.
- Then there is the emotional biggie. I just plain feel ugly and awful all the time. Self esteem???? I got none. = too much weight to haul around.
There are so many things I want to do or just cant do because my weight holds me back. How awful that this single thing, "my weight" holds me hostage 24 hours a day. Even in bed trying to sleep, I toss and turn and hurt all night.
I want to be strong and fearless in gaining my life back, however it seems daunting. All the time.
So today I change it.
I just RSVP'd to three MeetUp group activities online. I went with S to Field and Stream and bought hiking boots. (I did try on some way cool workout pants that my S got J, but a size 22 and a 24 didnt even work. I stood there in the dressing room shaking my head. Unbelievable that not either one fit at all. Krikey!
S and me went to the bowling place and I took the (stock) ball that I bought when I lived in Dodgeville Wisconsin, and I had it drilled slightly to fit my now fatter fingers. I will be bowling on New Years Eve with S & J and after that I plan to try and get on a bowling league. I used to be so good at bowling.
I signed up for a meet up group bowling activity later in January. I hope I can at least hit a pin or two by then.
Moving.........and eating less and eating good. That is the plan. I even have a $20 version of a fitbit thing. I got it at the sporting good store. It works great for tracking steps and stuff. I have since looked at the real ones and have decided I want the big ass one. The one that tells you all stuff. (that way I wont have to wear a chest strap when I bike, or a watchy thing when I work out to track my heart rate and other stuff.)
S & J got me a dehydrator for Christmas too. I bought a mandolin today as well and will try to start making really healthy snacks. If I find some that really work, I will post them here. Wish me luck! hahah
So what are your plans for 2016? Mine are whirling in my head.......but less weight and a stronger body are my goals. Life change and beyond.
Good luck,
Spamulatte
